Thursday, August 17, 2017

Smashing Alarm Clocks Is The Amway Ambot Dream

One of the bullshit things we used to hear at every Amway meeting were stories about how ambots were becoming financially free and about the last morning they had to wake up and go to work for the man.

They all have the same story. They are always men - but then what else do you expect from the Amway good old boys club but a bunch of male chauvinist pigs. They’re all sitting at their desk getting their work done. Then their wife walks in and says its time. Apparently this was not something preplanned. The wife decided on it on the spur of the moment an hour or two earlier. Then they both go in to see the boss and tell him to stick his job where the sun don’t shine. Then they walk out of the hated company and away from the hated J.O.B. hand in hand gloating at the coworkers watching them. Standing outside are all the members of their Scamway team. What? None of those fuckers didn’t have jobs they had to be at? There is always a limousine waiting outside. The husband and wife get into it and it always takes them straight home. Oh come on use some imagination here. There is probably at least a 2 hour minimum on renting a limo. You could just ask the chauffeur to drive around and have sex back there. But no. They all want to go home. And what is the first thing they do when they get home? They smash the alarm clock! They will never have to wake up to an alarm clock ever again. Especially not now that its been smashed to smithereens. They can wake up when they’re done sleeping!

And everyone in the upline has the same bullshit story. It never changes. Sudden epiphany at work to quit and walk out. Cult followers outside cheering the ambot on for quitting. Limo. Smash alarm clock.

First a couple of irregularities I see in this often told story.

Conceivably the husband drove a car to work. He leaves in a limo. What’s he going to do about his car? I realize its probably one of those clunker ambot shitmobiles that’s always breaking down but presumably the boss ain’t going to be too happy about the car being abandoned there. Boss calls tow truck. Ambot gets ticket to pay for towing and storage fees. Refuses to pay. Car goes to auction. Tow company leaves bad rating on ambot’s credit report.

And who has an alarm clock anymore? Didn’t they go out in the 70’s when clock radios became all the fashion?

The sack of shit Platinum taunted us about this tale and didn’t we want it too?

Lets see. I haven’t worked for anyone in years. So what am I supposed to do? Go into the bathroom and stare myself down in the mirror and say I quit. Fuck you. I should line up all my Barbie doll collection as my pretend coworkers so they can all catch this magical moment. I stomp out of my house and there’s the limo. Who called and paid for this sucker? Hmm. Scenic drive for a couple of hours and then bring me back home? The street is lined with clunkers belonging to ambots who must have all called in sick today so they can come over to my house and watch this magical moment as I tell myself I quit and I’m never going to work for myself again. I really hesitate to take a sledge hammer to my clock radio. It works just fine. It will be a mess to clean up. And what happens when I want to listen to music in the evening and can’t find my iPod.

And the next morning I can wake up when I’m done sleeping! Well shit. What fun is that? I already do that. Been doing it for years. I’m usually done sleeping around 8am. Kind of an internal alarm clock. Yeppers. I do not set the alarm on my clock radio unless there is something specific I have to be up early for which usually involves getting myself or someone else to the airport. And I’m very talented, probably much more so than those ambots with the smashed up old fashioned alarm clocks. Yesterday I was done sleeping twice. Yes! Twice! Lets see an ambot try that one! The first time I was done sleeping around 5am. I woke up thinking about something I had to do, went into the office, powered on the computer, left a note for myself so I wouldn’t forget then I went back to bed. The next time I was done sleeping was at 9:45am.

I want to make sure everyone knows you don’t have to be a scamming Amway IBO to tell your boss you quit. Anyone at any time can tell the boss fuck you I’m outta here. You also don’t need to be quitting your job to hire a limousine. People hire them all the time for all kinds of different occasions. They have different prices depends on if you take a regular sized limousines or if you like one of those stretch SUV kinds and where you’re going or how long you need to use it. The limousine businesses will take money from anyone, they’re not exclusive to ambots!

Anyway I guess it makes a nice fairy tale for the Amway cult followers. Those bastards need to update their story to keep up with the times though. We are coming up on a generation who will have no idea what is an alarm clock.

Huh? What is a typewriter?

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Amway Ambots Can’t Mind Their Own Fucking Business

One of the things I hated about being in Amway were the horrible people we had to associate with - our upline.

To be more precise our fucking interfering upline.

These phony ass lying bastards who pretended to be your friends as long as you were spending your money on Amway products and tools. The same people who told you that because they were your upline you had to do everything they told you and you had to ask permission before doing anything or buying anything. Cult! Cult! Cult!

Yeah fuck that idea. I’ve been making my own decisions since I moved out after I graduated from high school. I’ve been figuring out where to live, what to buy, what to eat, where to vacation since I was a teenager. I’ve always been responsible with money, it took me a few years to save up a down payment and buy my first home and I learned how to invest my money along the way. Making responsible decisions is all part of being an adult.

Once you’re in Amway the upline tells you they will make your decisions for you. That’s one of the reasons I hated being in the Amway cult. Here’s a newsflash for you lousy miserable ambot bastards. I already know how to make my own decisions. I will resist everything you fucking cult leaders tell me to do. To piss you fuckers off even more I will do the exact opposite of what you order me to do. Just my little way of telling you to fuck off. My little way of telling you I can’t stand you. Whatever I can do to piss off you motherfucking interfering bastards I’ll do it. In fact I’ll go out of my way to piss off you fucking Amway cult leaders to make sure there is no doubt in your mind that you have no control over me and exactly how I feel about you. That’s what happens when somebody doesn’t like you. You have no influence over them. After the fucking Platinum son of a bitch stuck his nose into our lives one time too many I refused to have anything more to do with the bastard. I told Ambot I refused to go anywhere if there was a chance that sack of shit might show up in the same place. It was Ambot’s job to keep us apart. If he failed and I ran into that bastard I was going to give that fucking Platinum shit supreme like he’s never heard before. I’m sure there is no doubt in Ambot’s mind that I will make good on my cursefest if I run into that Platinum cult leader and that will embarrass him in front of his beloved upline.

Seeing as how the only times Ambot only went out was to go to Amway meetings and functions to do Amway things and the sack of shit Platinum would likely be there since he led most of those cult meetings, Ambot wisely went alone. This led to his upline telling him that I was uncoachable. Translation - those upline Amway bastards were unable to brainwash me. That meant they had no control over me and my life and it meant the money flowing to Amway was in danger of being stopped when I put pressure on Ambot to get out of the cult. That was when the fucking Platinum began putting pressure on Ambot to leave me and when that didn’t work he told Ambot he was praying that I would find another man and leave him.

That fucking sack of shit Platinum is the most fucking evil person I have met in my life! Fucking cult leader gets his jollies out of controlling other people’s lives and sticking his nose into places it doesn’t belong.

Amway IBO’s have that not minding their own business routine down pretty good. Qualifications to become an Amway IBO - the ability not to mind your own business and to interfere in other people’s lives.

Get a clue you fucking Amway assholes. Most wives do not like other people sticking their nose into their marriage and families. So if you’re an Amway IBO -  fuck off! What’s going on in other people’s lives is none of your fucking business!

Like I need any further proof that Amway IBO’s can’t mind their own fucking business every day this blog gets dozens of hits from people looking for information about Ganesh and Neha Shenoy. I’d never even heard of them until I started getting all these hits but a few commentators on the blog have since filled me in a bit. Apparently the Shenoys have either split or divorced or in the process of doing so. I do not know them and I do not know why they didn’t want to be married any longer. Its none of my fucking business. You don’t see me going around the Internet looking for information about them. Amway IBOs who have no concept of “none of your business” are frantically searching the Internet for information about Ganesh and Neha Shenoy and landing on my blog because I’ve put in enough keywords to misdirect them here. Here’s my take on things. If Ganesh and Neha decide its any of your fucking business why they split up, they’ll tell you themselves. If they don’t tell you why they don’t want to be married anymore then that should be a huge clue for you. They’ve decided they don’t want you to know. Its none of your business! From every corner of the world Amway IBO’s who can’t mind their own business are searching for information on Ganesh and Neha Shenoy’s divorce. Even Joecool’s troll from Scarborough Canada was at this blog searching for information on Ganesh and Neha Shenoy divorce. I think that most of us who read Joecool’s blog already know that troll from Scarborough can’t mind his own business. One of the prerequisites for being an Amway IBO.

There are many reasons that I hated being an Amway IBO. The money loss buying shitty overpriced Amway products and spending hundreds of dollars on Amway tools and attending Amway functions is only part of it. Putting up with the fucking interfering upline who can’t mind their own damned business was the worst part of being involved in Amway.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Bring A Fucking Note!!!

The pompous sack of shit Platinum used to ride everyone's ass about not missing any Amway meetings. "There is no excuse to miss a meeting!" The cult leader would shriek from his pulpit.

Let's see. Let's go back to the 5 things in order of importance that the sack of shit wrote on the whiteboard every night.

1. God

2. Spouse

3. Family

4. Job

5 Amway

It would appear to me that there are 4 things higher on the list of importance than Amway that would give a cult follower an excuse to miss an Amway meeting.

But when the sack of shit finished hollering about there's no excuse not to miss a meeting, he would add that if we missed an Amway meeting, that we had to bring him a doctor's note.

What the fuck?????!!!!!

Uh, we're all adults here. Perhaps the reason we're missing an Amway meeting has nothing to do with illness or requiring a visit to the doctor. It probably has something to do with one of the other 4 reasons that are higher in importance than Amway.

Like we are really going to get a doctor's note because we had something better to do than attend a fucking Amway cult meeting.

Perhaps the reason we're not going to an Amway meeting is we've had enough of listening to a pompous sack of shit who loves the sound of his own voice spouting off lies.

Fucking Amway control freak.

Let’s just send out another big old FUCK YOU to every fucking Amway cult leader out there.