Thursday, August 17, 2017

Smashing Alarm Clocks Is The Amway Ambot Dream



One of the bullshit things we used to hear at every Amway meeting were stories about how ambots were becoming financially free and about the last morning they had to wake up and go to work for the man.

They all have the same story. They are always men - but then what else do you expect from the Amway good old boys club but a bunch of male chauvinist pigs. They’re all sitting at their desk getting their work done. Then their wife walks in and says its time. Apparently this was not something preplanned. The wife decided on it on the spur of the moment an hour or two earlier. Then they both go in to see the boss and tell him to stick his job where the sun don’t shine. Then they walk out of the hated company and away from the hated J.O.B. hand in hand gloating at the coworkers watching them. Standing outside are all the members of their Scamway team. What? None of those fuckers didn’t have jobs they had to be at? There is always a limousine waiting outside. The husband and wife get into it and it always takes them straight home. Oh come on use some imagination here. There is probably at least a 2 hour minimum on renting a limo. You could just ask the chauffeur to drive around and have sex back there. But no. They all want to go home. And what is the first thing they do when they get home? They smash the alarm clock! They will never have to wake up to an alarm clock ever again. Especially not now that its been smashed to smithereens. They can wake up when they’re done sleeping!

And everyone in the upline has the same bullshit story. It never changes. Sudden epiphany at work to quit and walk out. Cult followers outside cheering the ambot on for quitting. Limo. Smash alarm clock.

First a couple of irregularities I see in this often told story.

Conceivably the husband drove a car to work. He leaves in a limo. What’s he going to do about his car? I realize its probably one of those clunker ambot shitmobiles that’s always breaking down but presumably the boss ain’t going to be too happy about the car being abandoned there. Boss calls tow truck. Ambot gets ticket to pay for towing and storage fees. Refuses to pay. Car goes to auction. Tow company leaves bad rating on ambot’s credit report.

And who has an alarm clock anymore? Didn’t they go out in the 70’s when clock radios became all the fashion?

The sack of shit Platinum taunted us about this tale and didn’t we want it too?

Lets see. I haven’t worked for anyone in years. So what am I supposed to do? Go into the bathroom and stare myself down in the mirror and say I quit. Fuck you. I should line up all my Barbie doll collection as my pretend coworkers so they can all catch this magical moment. I stomp out of my house and there’s the limo. Who called and paid for this sucker? Hmm. Scenic drive for a couple of hours and then bring me back home? The street is lined with clunkers belonging to ambots who must have all called in sick today so they can come over to my house and watch this magical moment as I tell myself I quit and I’m never going to work for myself again. I really hesitate to take a sledge hammer to my clock radio. It works just fine. It will be a mess to clean up. And what happens when I want to listen to music in the evening and can’t find my iPod.

And the next morning I can wake up when I’m done sleeping! Well shit. What fun is that? I already do that. Been doing it for years. I’m usually done sleeping around 8am. Kind of an internal alarm clock. Yeppers. I do not set the alarm on my clock radio unless there is something specific I have to be up early for which usually involves getting myself or someone else to the airport. And I’m very talented, probably much more so than those ambots with the smashed up old fashioned alarm clocks. Yesterday I was done sleeping twice. Yes! Twice! Lets see an ambot try that one! The first time I was done sleeping around 5am. I woke up thinking about something I had to do, went into the office, powered on the computer, left a note for myself so I wouldn’t forget then I went back to bed. The next time I was done sleeping was at 9:45am.

I want to make sure everyone knows you don’t have to be a scamming Amway IBO to tell your boss you quit. Anyone at any time can tell the boss fuck you I’m outta here. You also don’t need to be quitting your job to hire a limousine. People hire them all the time for all kinds of different occasions. They have different prices depends on if you take a regular sized limousines or if you like one of those stretch SUV kinds and where you’re going or how long you need to use it. The limousine businesses will take money from anyone, they’re not exclusive to ambots!

Anyway I guess it makes a nice fairy tale for the Amway cult followers. Those bastards need to update their story to keep up with the times though. We are coming up on a generation who will have no idea what is an alarm clock.

Huh? What is a typewriter?



5 comments:

  1. I love your blog it cracks me up. Recently 2 days ago I left my amway/wwdb cult. Those fuckers signed me up knowing I'm only 21 years old living in an apartment making only $1400 a month. They never told me about the costs I would have to pay for the trash ass wwdb app and communikate. I was also NEVER told about how ever 3 fucking months I would have to spew out more money for a "major event". I can't fucking afford that every 3 months. But my cult members kept telling me "It's a privilege to go", "you can't miss out on this it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE". Those shit heads manipulated me and used their cult tactics to make me believe I was spending money for a good reason. Don't even get me started on communikate. That shit was fucking trash. I HATED having to do my "daily kate". Near the end of me leaving the cult I wouldn't even know what to communikate anymore. It became so fucking redundant and my upline would always reply to my kate like I had just said the most profound thing in the world. He would hype me up beyond believe. Almost like he railed 6 lined of coke and chugged a mountain dew just so he could reply to my kate and get me FIRED UP! When I left the cult 2 days ago I felt like a thousand pounds was lifted off my shoulders. I felt like I had control over my life again for once. I went and bought some fucking take out food for the first time in forever because I didn't have to watch my money under a microscope and pay for those shit products ever again. Those fuckers almost took away the best years of my life. I'm 21 for god sakes I should be hanging out and having a good time with the VERY friends they told me to avoid. Cult cult cult cult!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Archer. Thanks for stopping by with your story.

      Yes the blog is meant to crack up people who hate Amway and outrage Ambots all at the same time. Around here we aim to entertain as well as educate.

      You are prime meat to be recruited by the Amway cult. The right age, not earning a huge income. They suck you in with dreams of owning your own business and after working 10 to 15 hours a week for the next 2 to 5 years you can sit back and do nothing for the rest of your life while bazillions of dollars from Amway rolls in every month in residual income forever. You'll be debt free and pay for everything in cash.

      Those are some of the fairy tales you heard, right?

      Those fuckers tell you where else can you get started in your "own business" for $200 but conveniently forget to tell you about all the monthly expenses that you have to pay to belong to the Amway cult. Better known as the Amway tool scam. And if you don't buy that "motivational" shit the Amway cult leaders will berate you and mock you and threaten not to work with you if you don't buy the tools. Though somewhere in Amway's brochures it does say those "motivational" tools are optional and the upline is still required to work with you whether or not you buy them. But I've never met anyone in Amway who didn't break Amway's rules! LOL!

      Yeah Communikate is a bunch of shit. Smart phones and a good plan can do everything and more that Communikate does. At least one of Amway's owners is invested in Communikate from when it was a start up. I read the article years ago so I'm a little foggy on whether they're a part owner, an investor or gave them a loan to start up. Either way Amway has an interest in making sure Communikate is profitable so they can get their loan back or their share of the profits depending on the agreement. How else do they do this than push their cult leaders to force the downline to sign up for this piece of shit Communikate. And offer the cult leaders commission on each sucker that signs up. A couple of years ago some lying sack of shit Amway Ambot shows up here and tells us that Amway no longer uses Communikate and a wife of an Ambot called out the liar and says her husband subscribes to it and since then people like you stop by to say Communikate is still going strong in the Amway tool scam.

      Every Amway major function will be exploited by the cult leaders as the not to be missed event of the year, a life changing event, and will put you 6 months ahead of those who didn't attend. The bulk of income for Amway Diamonds is by selling tickets to these brainwashing functions.

      People in Amway are a bunch of losers who love bomb the other cultists and hype them up with phony compliments. You had the normal experience.

      And why are Ambots always FIRED UP!

      I know what you mean when you get out of the Amway cult. It's like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders and you start to get your life back under control. Be prepared for those Amway fuckers to phone, text, email and insult you. Tell them you're calling the cops on them for harrassment and that might stop them. Otherwise they'll harrass you endlessly. Ambots are only your BFFs as long as you're in the cult. When you leave Amway they'll drop you. After they've finished their barrages of loser, quitter, etc.

      Look at the bright side. You're no longer losing fistfuls of money to a scam and no longer hanging out with a bunch of Amway losers. You're young enough to bounce back financially and emotionally. All education costs you something and you've learned never to get involved again with a pyramid scheme or any other MLM.

      Now take that money you were sinking into Amway every month and invest it instead. Find a broker and buy some stocks. Buy lottery tickets. Go to a casino. All of those activities have a better chance of you making money than Amway does. Good luck to you. Have a happy Amwayless life!

      Delete
  2. I love your blog it cracks me up. Recently 2 days ago I left my amway/wwdb cult. Those fuckers signed me up knowing I'm only 21 years old living in an apartment making only $1400 a month. They never told me about the costs I would have to pay for the trash ass wwdb app and communikate. I was also NEVER told about how ever 3 fucking months I would have to spew out more money for a "major event". I can't fucking afford that every 3 months. But my cult members kept telling me "It's a privilege to go", "you can't miss out on this it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE". Those shit heads manipulated me and used their cult tactics to make me believe I was spending money for a good reason. Don't even get me started on communikate. That shit was fucking trash. I HATED having to do my "daily kate". Near the end of me leaving the cult I wouldn't even know what to communikate anymore. It became so fucking redundant and my upline would always reply to my kate like I had just said the most profound thing in the world. He would hype me up beyond believe. Almost like he railed 6 lined of coke and chugged a mountain dew just so he could reply to my kate and get me FIRED UP! When I left the cult 2 days ago I felt like a thousand pounds was lifted off my shoulders. I felt like I had control over my life again for once. I went and bought some fucking take out food for the first time in forever because I didn't have to watch my money under a microscope and pay for those shit products ever again. Those fuckers almost took away the best years of my life. I'm 21 for god sakes I should be hanging out and having a good time with the VERY friends they told me to avoid. Cult cult cult cult!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not preplanned, eh?

    I'm pretty sure Ambots don't take a crap without counseling with their upline Diamond. This could explain why Ambots are full of shit.

    ��

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. pinkvictim - that is very true. Ambots have to ask permission from their upline for everything! As you noted that's why Ambots are full of shit!

      No Ambot quits his job and calls for a limo and smashes his alarm clock without first getting permission from an Amway cult leader.

      Delete

Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
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